I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
