I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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