Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
