she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
