My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
