I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
