Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
