I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
