Soap is not a condiment
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
