Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
