I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
