dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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