those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
