he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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