I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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