But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
