So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
