i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
