She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
