They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
