Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I AM VODKA MAN
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
