I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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