I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
