I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize