my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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