If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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