Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
