Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
