How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize