Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
