I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
