Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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