I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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