Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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