this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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