Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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