brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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