pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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