Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
