My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
