After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
whose ass print is on the piano?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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