so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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