As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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