Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
