I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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