Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there was a trapeze. enough said
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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