My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
