Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
