My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
