We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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