Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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