Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
