Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
