yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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