Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
