Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
