So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
