Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
