was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
