Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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