I can text with my tongue
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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