I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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