what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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